Three Things That Tear Down a Home

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

We control the fate of our families and homes. A woman (or man for that matter) can build her house or tear her house down based on what is in her heart and what comes out in her actions. Proverbs 14:11 says, “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.” So, where is your heart? Is it tearing your house down or building it up?

Destroyer #1 - Deceit
If there is anything that will tear a house down it is deception. Lying, conniving, deceit, and devious manipulation will destroy a relationship and tear down a house. Proverbs 14:2 says, “He whose walk is upright fears the LORD, but he whose ways are devious despises him.” It is disrespect for God and a lack of fear for his justice that foolishly deceives people into becoming deceitful themselves. They think they won’t get caught or that God won’t punish their deceit.

If you are wise you will think about it and realize God can’t bless a house built on deceit. Proverbs 14:8 says, “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.” A lack of careful thought to the realities and consequences of your actions leads you to lie to yourself and then deceive others as well. The biggest lies liars tell are to themselves. 2 Timothy 3:13 says, “While evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.”

It is ironic that deceivers don’t give thought to the lies they are telling themselves in order to justify their deceiving of others. Proverbs 14:15 says, “A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.” A way to determine the purity of your motives is your unwillingness to deceive. Proverbs 14:5 says, “A truthful witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.”

This willingness to use deception and trickery to manipulate people ultimately leads people away from God and salvation. Liars who won’t repent, can’t go to Heaven. Revelation 21:8 plainly states, “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars— their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” Deceiving others and using half-truth to manipulate situations leads us to tear down our house. Proverbs 14:22 says, “Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.” What are you plotting or planning?

Destroyer #2 – Temper
Just as no one likes a deceitful person, no one likes a hot headed person who is quickly angered. Proverbs 14:17 “A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.” We have already learned that a wise man who builds his house gives thought to his ways. Giving thought to the realities of life removes a quick temper. Sometimes when fools believe lies, they will think they are trapped and resort to deceit to achieve an escape from their situation. Others, when feeling trapped by life’s circumstances just fill with anger and rage. They don’t consider their ways, nor consider God’s deliverance. And out of a lack of patience to wait for God’s deliverance and salvation, they turn to out bursts of anger. Proverbs 14:29 says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” The lack of faith of the quick tempered man is on display.

A Temper shows a lack of understanding of the victory that is inevitable for those who serve Christ. They think they are losing when in Christ they could be winning. So they get angry. It’s the people who feel like they are losing who get angry. It’s the people who are not getting what they want who get mad. Like the deceiver who thinks there are no consequences for evil behavior, the hothead doubts the justice of God and so feels he has to dole out his own justice against others. If he feared God, he would patiently wait on God’s justice. Proverbs 14:16 says, “A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.”

Destroyer #3 – Despising
Every one of us has sinned. Every one of us is spiritually needy. Every one of us is indebted to others and especially God. Every one of us needs mercy for our sins. So how is it we come to the point we don’t offer or revel in the fountain of grace? How is it we come to despise and resent others? Proverbs 14:21 says, “He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.” Notice that this verse doesn’t excuse us if our neighbor sins against us. Their sin against us is a given. All neighbors at some time sin against each other. At some point we are all needy. The blessed people meet each others needs.

To build up your house, you must offer the undeserved gift of forgiveness, that is grace. When you oppress those who are in need of your gifts of grace, you show contempt for God, who made them, loves them, and died for them. If you wish to glorify God you must walk in his path of forgiveness at all times seeking to make amends. Proverbs 14:31 says, “He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.”

Forgiveness is a Godly virtue we must all share in. The world mocks forgiveness and doesn’t respect it, but those who are righteous have good will. Proverbs 14:9 says, “Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.” Have you ever tried to make up with someone and they just walk away. They say your motives are impure. They have no trust or compassion. They offer no forgiveness and show no repentance. Theirs is the choice of a fool who mocks at restoring relationship and making amends.

Mockers are a jaded, skeptical and cynical lot. Because they mock the path of forgiveness and recoil at the thought of reconciliation, they find none. They have a pride that justifies their alienation of the sinner, because they feel superior. Mockers don’t experience the blessed life of those who are kind to those in need. They are not at peace. They live in the shadowlands of doubt, anger and self pity. Always blaming and never forgiving, they swing back and forth between deceit and anger. Always looking out and never looking inward, they never fix the real problem which is in their heart not in their neighbor. They don’t have what the blessed have and become jealous of other’s peace. Their health suffers. They are constantly feeling depressed, sick and struggling with health problems. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Peace and wisdom elude them, because they mock the wisdom of forgiveness and mercy.

Ever seeking, but never finding, a foolish lack of respect for God leads to a lack of respect for others and thus a lack of wisdom. The truth escapes them and they deceive to get their way. They mock the truth of justice and impatiently turn to a quick temper. They claim to seek wisdom in their clinical, cynical, scientific approach, but mocking mercy and despising others leaves them vainly foolish and devoid of wisdom. Proverbs 14:6 “The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.”

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” There are three things fools use to tear down their house, relationships, physical health, and spiritual growth. They use deceitfulness, a temper and despising others.

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