How did I get here?

Ever wonder how you got to where you are? I have. Sometimes it seems I have lived many lives. I know I have only lived one, but I and my circumstances have so changed, it seems like many. Who am I to that scrawny 2nd grade latch key boy who ran wild, stole from the drug store, smoked cigarettes and set the new neighbors yard on fire.

Some of my lives came to an abrupt stop with a dramatic change in my life, such as my parents divorce and my mother moving my 500 miles away from my home. It seems other times my various stages of life bled together so that there was a metamorphosis from one to the other rather than an abrupt change.

I try now to plan my life according to God's will. Though I didn't always and stuggle to sometimes even now. Click on the picture above to learn more about that. However, I know this. I am not the same person I was all those years ago. A small few, who have stayed with me the second half of my journey, see it less due to the slow change at some points. Others, who knew me well but dropped out of my life for some time and then drop back in notice it most and mention to me how I have changed.

One thing has not changed. God is guiding my life. Even when I was not his, I felt his pull and as I look back I see his handy work. I would guess that God is calling all mankind in such a way. He is baiting and tugging, pulling and caressing, beckoning and enticing who so ever will, may come. That is why men will be without excuse on the day of judgment and speechless.

As for me I answered the call and started my journey. I was called by grace, stand on mercy, and walk in his love. And as I work out my salvation with fear and trembling, I have stumbled in many ways. I do not even have the right to be his servant, except I have been bought back and redeemed. I am the chief of sinners but in his wisdom he has placed me where he has placed me. I would guess, to show the exceeding riches of his grace and the awesome power of his death on the cross to save even the proudest of men.

I often come close to drowning in a sea of self-pity and my own doubts (or those which flood me from Satan himself) but I am kept aloft by the promise of his Word which cannot be broken nor shaken.

And so I would say I got here by God’s grace which was poured out on my through my faith. I know he was working on me while I was yet a sinner. My guess is he works on everyone the same way. He does not play favorites. So we all have the same chance (Though our chances come in different forms and various means.) To those who are blessed to know him young, they are cursed to carry their cross longer. To those who are cursed to know him only late in life, they are blessed with a short walk with the cross on their back in this weary world. To those whom much is given, much is required. To those who little is given, less is required.

Many who are first to believe in God and brought up in good homes become proud and haughty, thinking they are better than “wicked sinners” and end up being faithless conceited hypocrites who think they earn their way to heaven. And some who were last to believe and brought up to hate God and all that is good, see the evil they have done and in fear turn to the mercy of God which is the only hope for any of us. Ah, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

But God sees it all from beginning to end. He sees the start to finish. He made it and he owns it. He gave us free will. He bound himself to his own doings, for he will not lie. It’s not in his nature, and in that way, he can’t do it. Many ask if God can make a rock so big he can’t pick it up. Why make up such a paradox when you have the real one in front of you. He can do anything but He can’t lie.

But that is not to say he doesn’t hold our destiny in his very hand. Remember, he knows all and sees all from beginning to end. Don’t you think he was wise enough to right the rules in such a way as to him winning in the end? Don’t you think he was wise enough to leave a gaping loophole of grace for the sincere heart to jump through in faith?

It’s no wonder we can’t see him face to face with all we have done. It’s no wonder he doesn’t answer us with audible words. Not with how wicked we have been. Not when each of us has violated our conscience and brought death to our selves and others. We are all collectively guilty for the death in the world and the curse on creation. It’s no wonder he has prepared Hell for Satan and all who have joined in his deadly rebellion.

The wonder is that he loves us so to send his Son to die for us. The wonder is that he left us any Word at all much less 66 books declaring his will. The wonder is that he died for us while we were yet sinners. The wonder is that though we are still not perfect, because of our faith he is constantly working on us and improving us. The wonder is that His very spirit lives within us. The wonder is that, weak as we are, he chooses to use us to display his majesty, grace and love. The wonder is that we will see him face to face and dwell with him eternally as our God, King, Father, Husband and Friend.

I know how I got to where I am. God has been there in the dark keeping me from falling into deep chasms I couldn’t see. He has carried me through the sickness of my own lust and anger. He has raised me when I was dead in my sins. He has disciplined me many times over for sins I keep committing until I stop. He has taught me hard lessons. He protected me from sin and hell by allowing me to suffer short temporary pains of earth to escape the eternal pain of Hell. He has forgiven me twice time’s infinity. And He has welcomed me into an everlasting kingdom of his grace and love.

Click on the picture above to read about how to make plans in your life.