Temper Tantrum

A wise man may get angry, but not easily. Psalms 103:8 says, “The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” God can become very angry. There is no sin in being angry. However, God doesn’t get mad easily. He is patient and compassionate. He is abounding in love and therefore slow to get angry.

James 1:19 commands us, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Proverbs 18:13 says, “He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame.” A quick emotional response of anger demonstrates a root of folly in our hearts. How many of us have quickly reacted in anger before we knew all the facts and made fools of ourselves? The temper tantrum of a hot-tempered man demonstrates his foolishness. The book of Proverbs has much to say about being quickly angered.

Proverbs 29:8 says, “Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger.” It’s the mocker or the fool who stirs people into frenzy. And it is the wise voice of reason that turns away from anger and bitterness. Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” If you are a hot-tempered fool, you will inevitably stir up anger, resentment and dissension among brothers. If you are patient you can calm down a quarrel.

The wise man avoids fights. The fool looks for them, and if there are none there, he creates some. Fools take some twisted pleasure from arguing. Some people take a sick pleasure out of feeling angry. It somehow makes them feel empowered. Proverbs 20:3 says, “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” If you quickly quarrel and are easily angered, you are just like any old fool. A wise man is patient. A man of understanding and spiritual maturity is slow to get ruffled. Proverbs 14:29 says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” A temper tantrum puts our folly on display for the whole world to see how impatient we are and what little understanding we have.

There are some things the fool consistently does that enflames his anger and stirs up conflict with others. Proverbs 30:33 says, “For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife." Stirring up anger always produces strife. The man quick to anger therefore is always stirring up strife. He has several weapons at his disposal to ignite the chaos of fury.

One weapon of the fool is gossip. The easily angered are also quick to spout off the reasons for their anger. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” A perverse man is quickly angered, always finding fault and spreading his record of wrongs for public consumption. Proverbs 17:9 says, “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Love patiently covers over wrongs to promote unity, forgiveness, and peace. But the fool is quickly angered and shows none of the restraint of wisdom.

The tools of the wise are patience, forgiveness and gentleness. Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." The soft and patient answer of the wise can sooth over wounded feelings, placate egos, and pacify the lust for vengeance. But the harsh response of the fool is only fuel on the fire of fury. Proverbs 26:20-21 says, “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.” Anger and quarrels are stoked by the words of a hot-tempered fool.

Not only does the hot-tempered fool say foolish things. He also does them. He acts hastily, based upon rash decisions and incomplete information. Proverbs 14:17 “A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.” It is inevitable that the quick-tempered man does something stupid. The haste, the emotionalism, and the blind fury makes the outcome inevitable. Being "quick to anger" is a path to the dark-side and many horrible sins. Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins." How many men sit in jail as murderers? How many marriages are lost? How many children are estranged from their parents? How many relationships are ruined? How many friendships are lost? How many fights, wars and deaths have taken place because of sins induced by a hot-tempered fool?

The hot-tempered man quickly flares up due to a total lack of self-control. Proverbs 29:11 says, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." The hot-tempered man has a lack of control that destroys him. The wise man controls his emotions. The fool leaves his emotions free to run unchecked by wisdom. Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” Physical strength is nothing compared to the godliness of self-control and patience. Strength alone will not give victory. I will take a wise and patient man over a strong fool any day. Real victory is best accomplished through the wisdom of those slow to anger and patiently gentle. Proverbs 25:15 says, “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.”

Many of us today know some hot-tempered people. They inevitably get themselves into trouble. We are often tempted to rescue them from the fate brought on by their own stupidity, especially when it’s our own children. We want to save them from the harsh lessons of the consequences of being a hot-tempered fool. Proverbs 19:19 says, “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” The only way to learn patience, gentleness and to be slow to anger is to pay the penalty of our actions. Parents, who don’t let their children pay the price for their hot-tempered nature now, will doom their children to that nature and the eventual consequences from which they cannot save them.

Many of us may also know hot-tempered people who are friends or co-workers. Avoid them. Proverbs 22:24-25 says, "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared." Bad company corrupts good character. Bad friends will change you for the worse. You become like them. If you share their company, you will share their fate.

Also hot-tempered people are a great source of strife in churches, business, and organizations. Proverbs 22:10 says, "Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended." The source of most confrontations in an organization is usually centered around a person or small group of people, who are hot-tempered fools who agitate everyone else.

In the New Testament, Paul tells the young preacher, Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:14, “Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.” And Paul told the preacher Titus in Titus 3:10, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.” Avoid the hot-tempered man or woman. We must be abounding in love and compassion like our savior. Remember James 1:19 says, “...be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” If you do not, your anger will destroy you.