Suffer the Little Children

Mark 10:14 says in the King James Version, "But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."

When I was young, I always wondered why the little children had to suffer to come to Jesus. It didn't seem in Jesus character to make little children go through suffering just to come meet Him. Why, would He want the weakest and most fragile to suffer in order to come to Him? Well, it turns out He didn't. As I grew older I came to understand that the word “suffer,” as I understood it, was not what was meant in this verse at all. More modern versions more accurately translate this verse saying, "Permit the children to come to Me" (NASV) or "Let the little children come to me" (NIV). It still perplexed me why the King James translators used the word “suffer.”

The Greek word translated as suffer in Mark 10:14 is afihmi (af-ee’-ay-mee). This word can mean forsake, lay aside, leave, let alone, send away, permit, or allow depending upon the context. Most interesting to me is that 47 places in the King James Bible it is also translated as the word "forgive." For example, in Matthew 6:12 "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." and again two verses later in Matthew 6:14, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." What if the translators had translated “suffer” as “forgive” in Mark 10:14? It would have read, "But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, 'Forgive the children so they can come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

I love to work with young children. They are a joy to me. However, anyone who works with kids, no matter how they love and enjoy them, must admit that it takes forgiveness to work with them. Children struggle with a lack of focus, self-control, maturity, self-esteem, wisdom, discretion, tact, and experience. All these things make it hard to minister to them. It takes a special and gifted group of people who have the patience, gentleness and resolve to work with other people’s children on an extended basis. In order for children to come to Jesus, it is we who work with them that must give something up, lay something aside, and help them find Jesus.

Jesus didn't want children to suffer to come to Him. He was asking the disciples to "suffer" or "permit" the children to come to Him. He was asking the mature disciples to "suffer" the immature children to come to Him. Children's ministry takes quite a sacrifice. In years past, churches were designed for adults when children were the best prospects. It has been said that 80% of people accept Christ before the age of 18. Young hearts are the most open to the Gospel. Yet, churches focused their programming on the already saved or less likely to accept salvation. It was kind of like doing an advertising campaign for air conditioners only among Eskimos in Alaska when 80% of your sales were from Florida. It doesn't make sense.

Thankfully in the past few decades churches have seen the need and value of programs tailored to children and teens. Between nurseries, children's church, youth groups, and Sunday School classes, churches have created opportunities to truly "permit the children to come" to Jesus. Some adults have selfishly resisted this because of the inconvenience to organize, plan, and recruit workers for these programs. But thankfully many selfless servants have sacrificed over the years to bring these Children to Jesus. At times it's hard. It's almost always a thankless job. The children themselves can be very difficult, especially with the way many parents raise children today. But it's worth it. We "forgive them to come to" Jesus because "such is the kingdom of God."

But it's not just the programming or organization that is difficult. It takes humility to teach children. When I teach children, I can't teach the way I do when I teach adults. I have to use smaller words. I have to explain simple things. I can't assume they know anything. I have to start at square one. If they are very small, I may have to get down on my knees to their level to catch their attention. I have to act silly and be very animated. They can't concentrate for long, so I have to change my method of presentation every few minutes to keep their attention. I use object lessons, drama, stories, coloring pages, crafts, music, pictures, skits, videos, and drawings (I have given up on the flannel graph. Its day has sadly passed).

To teach kids you have to compete with what they are used to like T.V., video games, movies, computers, and toys that talk, walk or light up. To teach them I have to use language they understand. I have to relate to them and stoop down to their level. It is a paradox and irony that the mature must regress to help the immature become mature. The adult must become child-like to help the child become an adult.

Paul taught this concept of suffering, sacrificing, and serving to permit people to come to Jesus. Paul explained this in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 when he said,

"Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."

Paul knew that to share in the Gospel’s blessings, he must imitate the Gospel in his own life. Jesus descended from Heaven and stooped from His divine form to assume the role of a man, a servant, a sacrificial lamb on our behalf so that we might ascend with Him into the heavens. Likewise, we must sacrifice to "become all things to all men so that by all possible means" we might save some.

Now we have applied this to literal children. I think most of us realize we need to patiently, lovingly, sacrificially permit children to find Jesus. I think we realize our need to cater to their needs by sacrificing what edifies the mature for what builds up the immature. We cater to the weakest, the neediest, those least able to be edified without our help. We have applied this principle in most churches for the sake of children. But have we done this with those who are babes in Christ?

Have we applied this principle to the newest believers or to the unbeliever? We all affirm that an abortion is wrong. But how many spiritual fetuses have been killed in the womb of the church because we tailor our services for the mature not for the spiritually immature babes in Christ. We translate our Bibles into foreign languages for the lost in Africa but don't bother to make our services intelligible to visitors in America. We spend our money training missionaries to work in cross-cultural situations, but ignore the fact that modern American culture is very different from the church culture. We ignore the fact that the majority of Americans did not grow up in the church culture. Thus the 50 year old music and culture of the church is alienating and irrelevant to them. We use "church words" like justification, redemption, or sancitification without explaining it. How many babes in christ have choked to death on meat when they needed some milk first?

We have changed the music for church camp to reach out to kids and minister to them. We have changed the music for VBS so the songs relate to the kids but we have not changed the music on Sunday morning to be music that relates to the lost. We will sacrifice our comfort to reach out to children on their level and where they are, but we won’t sacrifice our comforts for the lost visitor or younger member in the faith. We will tolerate the immaturity in children, but never tolerate for a second the immaturity of a babe in Christ.

I’m not advocating watering the service down to please people to the point they don’t follow apostolic tradition. I do mean that we should do things in a way that the immature can understand what is going on. I don’t want to compromise the message to please the “itching ears” of a wicked generation. I am talking about making the unchanging doctrine of the church palatable to the next generation of believers in their cultural context.

God's Word has something to say about what we are doing. Paul commands us in Romans 15:1-2, "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."

Our church services and programming should reflect this attitude. We are too focused on what we want, and not on what the weaker person needs. We, who know the Scriptures in depth, should bear the failings of the weak and realize our sermons and lessons can't always be meat, but often need to contain milk for the newborn in Christ.

We, who are strong in the faith and mature enough to know that worship happens in the heart despite music styles should bear with the weak who can only worship when it's music they relate to. We, who are strong, need to allow music styles to please our neighbor for his good to build him up. We, who are strong in the faith, should easily forgive the missteps of those just learning to walk with the Lord. Like babies, we should feed them milk, change their diapers, hold their hands as they learn to walk, and comfort their hurts when they fall and bruise their knees. What kind of older brother and sister are we?

The same grace and forgiveness we afford to young children should be given to young believers and unbelievers, so that they might be built up. The same way we get down on our knees and meet children at their level with open arms of love, we should extend to the spiritually immature. The strong should bear the weak. However, too often churches expect the visitor, the new believer, to bear the preferences of the older Christians. We cater to the wants of the saved and alienate the needs of the weak. We alienate those who need help the most. Then we through our hands up and wonder why not many are saved. We wonder why so many new believers fall away. We blame them saying, "Well they were selfish and wickedly demanded what they wanted." When a baby cries and wants it's way, that is normal. When a older child does it they are just a spoiled immature brat. When a new believer doesn't understand church culture and wants it his way, that is normal. When a older christian does it, they are a spoiled immature brat. If the new believers suffer from selfish attitudes, did they learn it from the older christians?

When Jesus said, "Suffer the little children to come to me." He meant for the mature disciples to suffer the children, permit the children, or forgive the children so they might come to Him. But sadly today in so many churches it's those who are but "little children" spiritually who have to suffer the mature disciples in order to find Jesus. It is no wonder why so few “little children” are finding Him today. We have it backwards. I guess I still wonder why the “little children” have to suffer to come to Jesus.