God Designed Sex

While many people will be focused on love and romance this week due to the fact many will be celebrating an old pagan fertility ritual which we call Valentines day, I thought I would share some thoughts about sex and romance...

God created us male and female. He gave us the romantic relationship and designed it to be enjoyed in the purity of the marriage relationship. Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

Marriage is not just for procreation, though it is for that. . It is not just for giving balanced parenting to children, though it is for that. It is not just for companionship, though it is for that. It is also for fulfilling our God given sensual desire for romance and sexual fulfillment.

The Apostle Paul wrote as directed by the Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 7:9 "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Part of the purpose of marriage was to fulfill that burning passion in a godly way. Marriage is God's way to keep us from giving into sexual immorality. For example, we all desire food. Our hunger is natural. There is nothing wrong with eating provided that the food is ours. If you are hungry you buy some food and eat. But if you go and steal food from the store and eat it you will go to jail for eating what was not yours. There is a right and a wrong way to feed your hunger. The same is true of sexual desire. There is a right way to meet that desire and a wrong way. If you marry then you can fulfill that desire in a pure way. If you have sex outside of the marriage you are stealing that which is not yours to take.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 "But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

When married you have ownership of your spouse’s body and it is right to fulfill your desire with their body. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." God wants you to find sexual fulfillment from your spouse. In fact Paul teaches that it's wrong to withhold your body from your spouse. When you marry you give your spouse the right to make love to you and fulfill their desires with you. It's wrong for a man to withhold sex from his wife. It's wrong for a wife to withhold sex from her husband. Your body belongs to your spouse.

If you were hungry for food and you decided to fulfill that desire by eating poison berries, you would then die from it. Why? Because your body was not designed to eat that food. Likewise, your body was not designed to have sex outside of marriage. The Bible says in
1 Corinthians 6:13 "The body is not meant for sexual immorality." Your body was not designed to be having sex with a person outside of marriage.

If you took a brand new Corvette and drove it into a lake it would sink because it was not meant to float or go in water. In fact, when you pulled the car out of the water it wouldn't run anymore. Why? It wasn't meant for the water. If you drug a new speed boat down the road without a trailer, it would destroy it because it wasn't meant for the road. It was meant for the water. In fact, it would put a hole in the bottom and ruin it. Likewise, when we commit sexual immorality, it ruins us. It brings death. Our body was not meant to have sex outside of marriage. And when we do it can damage us emotionally and kill us physically. Millions are dying of sexually transmitted disease right now that would never have happened if it was not for sexual immorality.

Because sexual immorality is such a danger, we teach and teach on it until some get the idea that sex is dirty and wrong. But sex inside of marriage is pure and beautiful. That message must not be lost. God made us sexual creatures. He gave us that desire. He wants us to enjoy that romantic love relationship. But he wants us to enjoy it in the right way. As you long for romance as we all do, I hope you will fulfill that desire in a way that is pure and blessed before God. Too many of us give into sinful desires when we are young and then live with a life long regrets. Young people, don't allow that to be your fate.

Those who really enjoy sex the best are those whose physical desires for romance are being fulfilled in the committed and loving relationship of marriage as God designed. When ever we do something God's way it's always longer lasting and sweeter. True fulfillment only comes from doing things God's way. I hope those of you who are young will wait to fulfill that desire by God's design. True love waits.

The following is a quote I read from Al Janssen:

"Why is Song of Solomon in the canon of Scripture?... It tells of how King Solomon discovered a beautiful woman and fell inlove with her...[T]he open expression of sensuality makes some uncomfortable, wondering if such words should even be publishedin our holy book. Jewish and Christian scholars generally agree that Song of Solomon is part of Scripture for two reasons. First,it upholds a picture of marital love as it was intended. Here is a glimpse of what God desired when He joined man and wife in the Garden of Eden and told them to 'be fruitful and multiply.' For centuries marriages have occurred for many reasons---for economicor political benefits, because the families got along, because the man needed an heir, because it was convenient and that's what young people did. But marriage primarily for reasons of love has become commonplace only in the last couple of centuries, and notin all parts of the world. Is that what God really wanted marriage to be---an expression of passionate love? In the Song of Solomon we glimpse the possibilities: Man and woman can thoroughly enjoy each other for life within the confines of marriage. Whether marriage emerges from a romance or is arranged, God's intentionis that every married couple experience the fullness of romanticlove for each other." ---Al Janssen